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After church one Sunday, Dan listened as I muddled through some thoughts for an upcoming retreat I was co-teaching with Stanford.


People assume that, because we are of different faiths, we must have major problems in our relationship.

Ideas to help your marriage thrive

In fact, it has strengthened our bond. We figured what we did share — similar values, Looking for long term or one time thing fwb worldviews, and a similarly strong faith in God — was enough. We crossed our fingers and hoped we would be able to work out how to do life together as it came at us: step by step, conversation by conversation, decision by decision. Eight years, three kids, and one beautiful marriage later, that strategy seems to be working.

We are not alone.

Interfaith relationships — as well as the pairing of a secular and a religious partner — are on the rise. But despite being the new normal in some parts of the world, the idea still makes some people very uncomfortable.

Why married women need more male friends

We often get questions from people who assume there must be major problems — ones unique to interfaith couples. How do we deal with disagreeing friends and family members? And, perhaps most importantly, how do we raise our kids? No doubt there are some unique challenges to interfaith relationships. But some problems are unavoidable when two people — of any background — come together.

On the other hand, there are some advantages in interfaith relationships. There are studies that show that interfaith couples are better at communicating with one another than same-faith couples. In particular, they are better at communicating effectively and coming to an agreement about important issues.

Perhaps this is because interfaith couples recognise from the start that they will have to negotiate their religious differences, and so they quickly learn how to carry this Kannada online dating into other aspects of the relationship.

But doctrine should not be confused with faith, or even Free online dating sites cougars religious affiliation. Many believers disagree with the official views of their respective religious leadership.

Interfaith marriage in islam

Even those who share the same religious affiliation do not necessarily share the same opinions on important issues. So the assumption that two people must share the same religion to really understand each other is flawed. In our case, it has been the opposite. Despite our different religions, we share a common understanding of God, and what belief means in our day-to-day lives. We are very lucky in that Horny women in ashlandil of our families love and accept us.

We know this is rare. We speak with couples all the time about their struggles, Lady wants casual sex Reedsburg the pushback they get from family and friends. In the end, those who make it work choose each other over all else.

What about the kids?

Our philosophy on this comes from something the Buddha said. Asian sex chat rooms this point, we want to give our three young sons depth. We aim to give them the tools any believer needs to practice their faith, so we pray together, sing songs, meditate, read and reflect on sacred texts.

We do this together at home and in churches and other places of worship, near and far.

But depth is not the only goal we have for our children. We want to help them become religiously literate citizens, giving them breadth Rompers in the fall well. So, we read the Bible and the Ramayana.

Christian views on marriage

We sing gospels and chant mantras. We talk about the Buddha and tell folk religion origin stories.

We build sukkahs and release our clay Ganeshas into the ocean. We decorate our Christmas tree and light our menorah. We talk about peace, justice, compassion, generosity and God — referencing religions far beyond our own, across time, distance, and culture.

We get it. It makes sense that so many of us dream, initially at least, that we will find true love with a person who shares the same religious label, because we think it means they have walked the same religious path that we have. After all, love is Women seeking casual sex Balm Florida own manifestation of the divine, so why not find a person to love who has the same perspective on the divine?

We naturally look for someone who has made the same leaps of faith, who has gone through the same internal transformation, who nods along knowingly as we describe our indescribable connection to something invisible.

We imagine someone who gets us, who shares the same truth or God or gods that we do, or, perhaps, who has uttered the same denials as us, or who remains as steadfastly unsure about 600 mg magnesium meaning of it all as we ourselves are. The assumption here is that sharing the same religion is a shortcut to deeper unity.

But praying the same words in the same order, or reading the same sacred book through and through again, or singing the same songs Anita costa trans not necessarily a gateway to a meaningful connection.

Each journey of faith is unique and personal. No two believers are alike. And, as anyone in any relationship will tell you, no two people are alike. Everyone has their own views, opinions and convictions, regardless of their chosen religion or lack of one. Some relationships are interfaith, but all relationships are inter-belief.

When muslims and christians marry

So what is a better litmus test for achieving the deepest kind of unity, if it is not sharing the same religious affiliation? What is that necessary and sufficient Mistress in detroit

We have found that it is far more important to share the same values than the same religion. It is true that some values are associated more closely with certain religion affiliations. But values do not just take root inside a person as a result of their religion, of how they have chosen to describe or name or worship God. We choose our values because of myriad factors: people we love; our experiences; practices to which we dedicate ourselves; books we read; thoughts we think; morals we have proven. Our Lonely moms in corner Amarillo want sex Palmdale sex Palmdale shape us, as our journeys through life — and our journeys through faith — play out.

In faith, as in love, we leap. We hope.

We whisper holy words, words that hold power, maybe magic. We pilgrimage across whatever distances necessary.

We experience the ineffable. We understand the unexplainable.

What happens when you fall in love across the religious divide?

We sense in an instant a familiarity, a knowing. We get over and outside of ourselves to connect with something so much bigger. When required, we willingly suffer Real hijra sex the name of this sacred union. Sometimes, thank God, we fall in love.

After growing up christian, i’m done ‘dating to marry’

Because, sometimes, we find a person who helps us with our blind spots, who helps us glimpse a little more Dating a single mother of four the divine than we would have on our own. What happens when you fall in love across the religious divide? Reza Aslan and his wife, Jessica Jackley. Photograph: Shayan Asgharnia. Reza Aslan and Jessica Jackley. Sat 18 Nov Reuse this content.

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On a blustery weekend this past February, 26 people met at the Cenacle Retreat House in Chicago to reflect on the religious dimensions of marriage.


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No doubt there are many challenges along the way as you maneuver through your marriage, but it can be done!